Self Care

Its been a long time since I last posted. There are many reasons for this absence, but the main cause was work. I ended up working seven days a week to make ends meet for a while. On top of this I was studying and planning my wedding. Time for writing just disappeared, as did time for going out and experiencing new products and places to eat. Even my home cooking suffered as I could not think of new recipes to make or have the time and inclination to go shopping at the larger out of town supermarket to buy the ingredients.

We will all, at some point in our lives, have a time in life where everyday life becomes all consuming. I have seen friends and family go through this. It doesn’t mean it is a bad time, but your focus will get reduced to the things you need to do.

Part of me is disappointed that I was unable to write much during this time. I didn’t even complete my daily journal for four months. The other part of me is at peace and has oven myself permission to do this. There are only so many hours in the day, and me no blogging regularly hasn’t affected the world.

Also during this time there was a lot going on in my head but I wasn’t sure how to get it out. To an extent I was afraid to put pen to paper/fingers to keyboard. I had a combination of fear and a massive writing block. It was almost as though I didn’t know where to start.

I think I am over that now. I have compiled a list of ideas to write about. Daily life has changed on so many levels (not just because of coronavirus), and I now have time to regularly write.

So watch this space and hopefully there will be some posts to make you think/ smile / shake your head at in the near future.

So I have a day to myself. A rare day off with nothing planned. One of those days I dream of.

But what should I do with the day? I have a list of mundane housework items that need doing. Part of me knows they need to be done. The other part of me goes “no, relax, do something for yourself. Take some time out”

I also have a long list of things I’d like to do. Sitting in the garden and reading is always top of this list. Now the day has come I can’t remember anything else on this wish list.

I’d like to do some gardening, but this is beginning to feel like a chore, rather than a joy now I have the time. My front garden tends towards the more wild side and I suffer from gardeners embarrassment. I grew up in a garden that was completely surrounded by hedges. No one could see you working. My front garden has none of this. The neighbours and anyone going past can see exactly what I am doing. I can hear them thinking “Oh at last she is doing something! You don’t want to weed like that !”.

This gardening anxiety puts me off doing anything.

I know that I fancy driving to a lovely spot on the South Downs, taking a stroll and sitting down in the sun with a good book and some tea and cake. But I spend so much of my time during the week driving between meetings, that I can’t face getting into the car.

I resolve to clean the bathroom and then move into the garden. I may end up sitting and reading if the weather is good enough. I may attempt to tame some borders (but not in the front garden!) .

But whatever I do I will give myself permission to do what i want and not feel guilty for not achieving anything.

ravenousveggie

Thoughts on veggie food, work, play and life in general

Category

Where Have I Been?

Day Off