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ravenousveggie

Thoughts on veggie food, work, play and life in general

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Bad News

Recently two friends gave me bad news – they told me they had been diagnosed with cancer. I didn’t know they had gone for tests or that they had concerns. But then again why should I?  I would probably keep quiet about it until I knew for certain.

In a moment I could see their lives falling apart around them.  They are both waiting for full diagnoses and treatment plans, so the future for them both is uncertain.

Naturally they are worried and thinking of the worst case scenario. Our discussions have ranged from organising the practical (work cover, wills, getting to appointments etc) to things they want to achieve before they die. The holidays they want to have, friends they want to see, things they want to experience.

All I could do was to be as supportive as possible, whilst trying to control my own shock, disbelief and emotions.  In a weird way I too felt my own world starting to crumble a little.

One friend is also a client so there was also a brief thought about loss of income as well as a good friend.  Of course I felt guilty for thinking this. In no way is loss of work greater that the loss of health, or a good friend. It was just one of those impact thoughts that naturally crop up and disappear as quickly as they came.

After these two bomb shells I was feeling a little battered  by life. Not for my own situation but for that’s of my friends.


Photo by Charity Beth Long on Unsplash


As the saying goes “when life throws you lemons, make lemonade”.  And with that in mind I fully intend to make sure their coming journeys are supported and filled with good memories as much as I can, whatever the outcomes.  

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Distractions

We all lead busy lives these days and everywhere we go there are distractions.  Most of these distractions are from electronic devices – phones, tables, laptops, tvs, and radios. All a constant in the background.

You can go to a restaurant and see whole families sitting together, but distracted by their phones.  No interaction with each other. No conversation. Nothing. Everyone distracted but sitting in silence.  Even the act of going out to eat taking away any interaction soundness preparing food.

As someone who leads a very busy life my head gets full of noise and distractions.  Between work and voluntary commitments i rarely get a chance to get away from the technology.  To an extent I accept this way of living. I do have an email free day once a week, but being connected via social media and text still leaves little time for me to switch off.

So I find myself on a girls weekend to Champneys.  A chance to relax and unwind in great company and enjoy a little pampering at the same time.

I get to my room.  It is comfortable it’s a lovely view out onto the grounds. All I can hear is the sound of running water from the river outside.  I stand and stare at the TV on the wall, slightly surprised to see it, but not really knowing why.  Perhaps I assumed that TV and WiFi old be frowned upon. It turns out that you are allowed these in your room, however phones are frowned upon in communal areas.  

I made a decision at that point not to automatically put the tv on when I was in my room.  I wanted peace and quiet and I wouldn’t get it with distractions. I resolved to spend some time in my room each day sitting and reading.  Just me, the sounds of the river and people using the grounds.

It was bliss.  Not being connected  or subjected to noise of some kind.  My mind stopped whining. The tension began to subside.  Even whilst enjoying the spa and great company, I found myself secretly looking forward to my escape to my quiet place.  

Although the break was for only a few days I came back refreshed.  A combination of enforced relaxation and the warm surroundings of the spa were exactly what I needed in a cold, dull January.

It struck me that I need to build in some quiet time in my daily life.  Time to sit and read, write in my journal, or just listen to the sounds.  This is something I will endeavour to do to help keep my mind quiet and able to concentrate better.


Photo by Niklas Wersinger on Unsplash
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Monthly Loves – February

Wow what a month February was.  It started with snow, and then a mini heatwave, then cooled back down to near normal temperatures.  I think this gave us all a pre-spring lift. So this month I was grateful for:

  • Signs of spring – Daffodils, snowdrops and crocuses have brought a lovely splash of colour to brighten up these winter days.  The longer daylight hours are also making the walk to and from work much more enjoyable.

Photo by Simon Moore on Unsplash
  • Bel and Dragon – this small chain of hotels and restaurants may not be the cheapest but the venues, food and service are lovely.  Not the best veggie menu in the world (very cheese orientated), but still worth it for a treat. I was lucky enough to be taken for a weekend to celebrate my birthday!
  • Quiet Time – As you will see from my blogs I have discovered the joy of quiet time and switching off.  
  • Lentil Dahl – a dish that is very simple to make, full of flavour and perfect to have as a main meal or a light lunch
  • Moving Office – my company has moved office to a much more modern, insulated building.  My morale has definitely lifted as I now don’t feel cold at work all day, and I have a window to look out of.
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Sounds

I met up with a friend recently to have a catch up and also do some work together.  As the conversation lulled and we both went back to concentrating on our tasks at hand I became aware of the sounds in the room.

I became mesmerized and relaxed by one sound in particular – that of my friend typing.  She is a really good touch typist and the sound of her fingers on the keyboard, lightly drumming away, produce a satisfying tapping sound that I tuned into to.

It got me thinking of other sounds that have this effect on myself or people I know.  My sister will happily fall asleep to the sound of a vacuum cleaner. The sound of the sea will do the same for me.  If I wake in the night and my mind is racing I move to a room where there is a ticking clock. This monotonous sounds switches my mind off and usually enables me to drift off to sleep.


The sound of rain is also strangely relaxing to me – sometimes the heavier the better.  It helps my mind to stop, empty a little and stop whirring.

There are also some sounds which can be irritating.  The sound of people eating is a stress trigger for me.  As is loud music or angry voices when I am trying to concentrate.  I get a real urge to get away from these sounds.

It would be interesting to know what sounds make you relax and zone out, and which ones really irritate you.

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Focus on the Positive

How often do you find yourself fixating on the things that didn’t go well, rather than looking at the positive things from your day?

I’m all for learning from mistakes, and reviewing things to see how to make them better in the future.  But focussing on the negatives (even if your aim is to correct them) can wear you down.

How often to you take time to out to review what you have done well, reviewed your strengths or your wins?

I expect that the answer is not very often, leaving you mulling over the things that could have gone better.



Photo by Gabrielle Henderson on Unsplash

Try taking five minutes at the end of each day to write down three things that you did well, or went well.  This will help you identify your strengths and wins. It will also give you something to look back on when you are in need of a lift.

Don’t worry if you can’t think of three things every day.  Even one thing will help redress the balance of focussing on the things that could have gone better..  Hopefully this will give your confidence a small boost.

You could also do the same at the end of each month.What went well?  What did you learn from? What do you need to change ot meet your goals?  Just remember

You are capable.

You do have many strengths and talents.

You just need to remind yourself.

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Mentoring Journey

I have recently become a mentor through The Girls Network.  This involves mentoring girls from the least advantaged communities to inspire them and provide them with a role model.

I signed up for this after coming across The Girls Network through a networking group I attend.  It seemed like a good idea – sharing my experiences to help girls become aware or, and achieve (hopefully), their full potential.  I currently mentor new business owners, so thought that this would be a good challenge, but something not entirely alien to me.

One matched with my Mentee I was excited at beginning our journey, but as the meeting grew closer I began to have doubts.  I don’t have children, and apart from my gorgeous nieces and nephews, I have no experience of dealing with teenagers.

Would I be able to connect with my mentee?  How will I inspire a teenager?

I did all my prep for the first meeting and turned up early, worried that my mentee would not turn up, or had the wrong day in her diary. Even though I had confirmed the meeting with her the day before. I was so nervous!


Mentoring notes

Photo by David Travis on Unsplash

My mentee arrived and we sat down with our coffees, exchanging p;olive conversation.  I broke the ice by saying it was my first time at mentoring and that we are probably as nervous as each other about the meeting and what to expect.  That’s seemed to do the trick. We had a good meeting, set some actions around issues she was encountering and booked our next meeting.

I felt good afterwards.  It had gone well. I can (at this stage) talk to a teenager. She was lovely to talk to and seemed open to ideas on how to deal with certain aspects of her life.  

Now all I need to do is repeat this again at our next meeting, and hope it wasn’t beginners luck.

If you are interested in mentoring contact The Girls Network

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Distrust

I work with a colleague  who is quick to distrust on the first error a person makes, hearsay, or sometimes something akin to jealousy, and often without knowing the full story.

Once distrusted he does his best to burn bridges with that person.  This may mean not working with them or not turning up to an event because they might be there.  If you mention their name, or ask if we should refer some work to them, you get a venomous reply of ‘no, find someone else, we are not working with them.’  I had an email forwarded from a potential contqact with just he word @I met this smug git today…’ Obviously on a GDPR level this could be a bit embarrassing if they should ever ask for any data/correspondence we hold on them!

I always find this frustrating, bewildering and a little short sighted.  How can you limit your interactions with people in this way? What if you need their help in the future?  Where does this anger come from?

However this attitude has started to bite back recently.

On a few occasions he has had to concede that the person in question is ok and that he didn’t know the background to why something happened.   Or the need of the customer means that we need the support of the ostracised person. So perhaps we shouldn’t be too hasty in cutting all ties.  

I have no problem of being wary of someone who keeps making mistakes, or whose working practices might not be as good as I would like.  We all meet people we don’t rub along with. However to cut people out completely for such reasons to me shows a lack of patience, understanding and self esteem.   

You never know when you will need their help, or how your actions have affected their view of you.  And who are they talking to about it? How will reflect on you?

There will always be people who do do something very wrong, but make sure you have all the facts first before writing people off.


Photo by Heather M. Edwards on Unsplash

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Monthly Loves – January

January – the month of setting resolutions and getting back into work after the the Christmas break.  The days have been dark, and although the daylight hours are increasing, the temperature is dropping. It’s not my favourite month – the dark days do sap my energy, but there are the signs of longer,warmer days to come.  However I have come across a few lovely things this month…..

  • Beautiful lace like jewellery from Ruth Mary Jewellery.  Stunning pieces made by a very talented lady
  • Naughty but nice – my local corner store has started stocking a Mexican Mix by Silver Palm Foods.  I love the dried corn snacks you get and this has a mix of corn, dried beans and crisps in a spicy covering.  Naughty and very moorish!
  • The veggie/vegan options at Las Iguanas.  Great choice of food which made my meat eating friends a little envious!
  • Graze Veggie Protein Power Snack –  a much healthier option than the Mexican Mix with a great flavour.  A good go to elevenses pick me up.
  • Taking time out to have some quiet time.  A recent trip to a spa made me realise that there is too much noise and too many distractions in my life, which stop me concentrating.  But more of that in an upcoming blog…..
Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash
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Breakfast

Breakfast – seen as the most important meal of the day, and probably one that we often have the least amount of time to have.

In the hotel industry breakfast is probably the busiest time of day – the majority of your guests will book in for breakfast.  It is also the time when your guests potentially have the least amount of time. So breakfast needs to run smoothly and cater for all dietary needs.

So why does breakfast in a hotel frequently turn out bad?  I have seen a full hotel with queues waiting for breakfast because of understaffing and a lack of coordination.  

In some cases there seems to be a lack of attention to how quickly food needs to be replenished and tables cleared

I have been left hungry due to lack of communication of how long the vegetarian breakfast would take to cook – having to leave before it is ready.  

I used to attend a breakfast networking meeting at a 5 star hotel which has 89 rooms.  In our networking group there were usually about 20 of us each work. The hotel claimed it was too much work to provide 20 individual breakfasts (which were all pre-ordered).  Instead it was either a full cooked breakfast, or a continental offering (which was one pastry and some fruit). I always used to wonder how they coped if all the rooms were full and breakfasts not pre ordered if they couldn’t cope with 20 pre-ordered meals.

I understand that staff not turning up on time cannot be planned for, however managing expectations can.  As a guest if I know there is a problem in the kitchen, an ingredient isn’t available, or something takes slightly longer to prepare, then I can make my food choice  according to my time restraints. It is all about managing expectations.



Photo by Sonnie Hiles on Unsplash

I once worked in a hotel for a year.  Breakfast always ran smoothly as the head waiter would give training to the staff the day before and then watch like hawk as to what as going on.  He would give firm, but polite, instructions, so as to ensure smooth running and that guests left satiated and happy.

Looking at hotels now I rarely see anyone who appears to be in overall charge.  When there is they don’t appear to have the attention to detail and focus that I trained under.

I never know why there is so much secrecy over breakfast.  I’m not sue if there is a worse time of the day in which not be on top of your game, or not be communicating with your customers.

I’d love to know what your experience of hotel breakfasts has been.

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